How to Handle Separation Anxiety at Nursery Drop-Offs – Tips to ease transitions
23/06/25 Knowledge Base ParentingHow to Handle Separation Anxiety at Nursery Drop-Offs
Starting nursery can be an exciting milestone for both parents and children, but it often comes with its own set of challenges - particularly separation anxiety. It’s completely natural for young children to feel anxious when they are apart from their parents, especially during nursery drop-offs. At kinderzimmer, we understand how difficult these moments can be for both parents and children. With a little preparation and patience, you can help ease the transition and create a positive experience for everyone.
In this blog, we’ll share practical tips to help you handle separation anxiety at nursery drop-offs. By drawing on Montessori, Steiner, and Froebel principles, we’ll focus on fostering emotional security and building trust with both your child and their nursery caregivers. With these strategies, you can make drop-offs a little easier and set the stage for a smooth transition into nursery life.
Start the Conversation Early
One of the best ways to ease separation anxiety is by talking to your child about nursery ahead of time. The more you prepare your child for what to expect, the more confident and secure they will feel. Use age-appropriate language to explain that you’ll be leaving them at nursery, but you’ll always come back to pick them up. You can also talk about the fun activities they’ll do and the new friends they’ll meet.
Drawing inspiration from the Montessori approach, create opportunities for your child to explore and learn about nursery routines through storytelling or picture books about starting school. This helps them visualise the experience and know what to expect, which can reduce anxiety.
Create a Consistent Drop-Off Routine
Children thrive on routine and predictability, so it’s important to establish a consistent drop-off ritual. Having a familiar routine before saying goodbye can provide comfort and reduce uncertainty. Whether it’s a special handshake, a hug, or a few comforting words, keeping the same routine each day helps your child feel secure and reassured that they are safe.
Incorporating the Steiner approach, consider bringing a familiar object from home, such as a favourite blanket or toy, which can offer comfort and a sense of security during the drop-off process. Knowing that they have something familiar with them can help your child feel more confident as they enter nursery.
Keep Goodbyes Brief and Positive
While it’s tempting to linger and offer repeated reassurances, the longer the goodbye lasts, the harder it can be for your child. Instead, try to keep your farewells brief, calm, and positive. Give them a hug or kiss, offer a few reassuring words, and then confidently leave the nursery. Prolonged goodbyes can cause anxiety to build, so a quick and loving parting will help your child adjust more easily.
Following the Froebel philosophy, aim to make the experience positive and nurturing, without making the separation feel like a big event. Reassure your child that they will be safe and happy in nursery, and that you’ll be back soon to collect them. By keeping things upbeat, you’re fostering emotional resilience.
Stay Calm and Confident
Children are incredibly perceptive and often pick up on their parents’ emotions. If you appear anxious or upset during the drop-off, your child may sense this and feel even more unsettled. It’s important to stay calm and confident, even if you’re feeling emotional inside. By demonstrating confidence in their ability to handle the transition, you’re helping your child feel more at ease.
Remember that the Montessori method values the emotional development of children, including building self-confidence and resilience. By staying composed, you’re modelling how to navigate challenges with calmness, which can help your child feel more secure.
Communicate with the Nursery Staff
Open communication with your child’s caregivers is key to easing separation anxiety. At kinderzimmer, our staff is trained to support both children and parents during transitions. If your child is struggling with drop-offs, don’t hesitate to let the staff know. They can offer additional support, whether it’s holding your child’s hand, engaging them in an activity right away, or simply offering reassurance.
A strong partnership between parents and nursery staff is essential in helping children feel supported. By working together, we can ensure that your child’s transition into nursery is as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Gradually Ease the Transition
For some children, separation anxiety is best handled with gradual steps. Our settling sessions gradually increase the time your child spends at nursery; this allows them to adjust to the new environment at their own pace.
The Steiner approach emphasises gentle transitions and a nurturing environment. Our gentle approach allows children to become familiar with their new surroundings and educators, helping to reduce feelings of anxiety.
Celebrate Successes, No Matter How Small
Every step of progress should be celebrated, whether it’s a successful drop-off with minimal tears or a day where your child settles in quickly after you leave. Praise your child for their bravery and reassure them that you are proud of them. Positive reinforcement encourages your child to feel more confident about future drop-offs.
In the Froebel tradition, celebrating achievements, no matter how small, helps to foster a sense of accomplishment and emotional well-being. By highlighting their successes, you’re building their confidence and reinforcing that nursery is a positive experience.
Be Consistent and Patient
Separation anxiety can take time to resolve, so it’s important to remain consistent and patient with your child. Some children may experience anxiety for a few days or weeks, while others may need longer. Trust that with time, your child will adapt to the nursery routine and become more comfortable with the separation.
Both Montessori and Steiner philosophies value the importance of a supportive, patient approach to emotional growth. By being patient and consistent, you’re helping your child build resilience and trust in themselves, their caregivers, and the world around them.
Supporting Your Child Through Nursery Transitions
Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood development, and it’s something most children experience when starting nursery. However, with the right strategies, you can ease the transition and help your child feel safe, secure, and confident. At kinderzimmer, we are committed to supporting both parents and children during this adjustment period, offering a nurturing environment that fosters emotional growth and independence.
By creating a consistent routine, communicating with your child, staying calm, and working closely with nursery staff, you can help ease your child’s separation anxiety and set the stage for a positive nursery experience. Remember, every child’s transition is unique, so be patient and trust the process. Before you know it, your child will feel at home in their new environment, and nursery drop-offs will become a peaceful and positive part of your daily routine.
If you have any concerns about your child’s transition to nursery or need additional support, feel free to reach out to us at kinderzimmer. We’re here to help every step of the way!
